Care and Feeding of your wearable art & bookmarks

Congratulations on your acquisition of one of my wearable art pendants, rings, or bookmarks! I'm grateful you're giving my creation a good home. Here are some important instructions for its proper care and feeding:

• Don't get your new friend wet. If you've seen the movie "Gremlins", you know what can happen. Also, it will ruin the artwork.
• To clean or polish your pendant or bookmark, use the cleaning cloth that came with your piece or another soft cloth. Harsh chemicals like alcohol, jewelry cleaner, or acetone will ruin the seal, destroy the art underneath, and may remove the pendant finish. And nobody likes a naked pendant.
  
• Say nice things to your piece, like "You look amazing" and “My world is better because you're in it.” The bookmarks in particular like it when you use a British accent. It also helps to occasionally say lovely things like this to the humans in your life, accent optional.

Other FAQs:

Q:  Can you customize a piece for me?
A:  No. I've spent years in therapy addressing my desperate need to cater to other people and I'm finally making progress. (Please don't hate me.)

Q:  Has this piece been licked by a dog?
A:  Probably. A lot of things happen in this house when my back is turned.

Q:  What if I follow all of your directions and something goes wrong, like, my skin turns green?
A:  I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you, but if your skin turns green after wearing one of my pieces then you are, in fact, part alien. It's the litmus test, and you failed. Or passed, depending on where you are in your genealogy research. (Ta da! Great Grandpa really was from Mars! Update your Ancestry tree!) Seriously, if that happens in the first week or so of wearing it, let me know. It may just be one of the metals reacting with your (alien) skin. There are a few things we can do, none of them involving the X-Files unit.

Q: What exactly do you do all day?
A: You're looking at it, kid.

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If you have any more questions about your wearable art or bookmark, visit the contact page and send me a message.